I so wish I didn't have to go to my stupid workplace tomorrow
... and I want to make this wish come true »
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449 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said
Supposedly some of our brightest speakers, politicians say some pretty stupid things. Members of America's major political parties put out a roaring stream of downright dumb comments, pronouncements, and observations. For proof, look no further than Ted Rueter's two new books, 449 Stupid Things Republicans Have Said and 449 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said.The Dems fair little better in 449 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said. Al Gore said, "I would have kissed Tipper longer at the convention." Hillary Rodham Clinton, during a 2000 campaign interview with Hot 97, a Manhattan hip-hop radio station, stated, "Motown, Motown: That's my era. Those are my people." Rueter snags them all and provides two wonderful collections of quotations that will truly go down in history.
I Didn't Know It Was Mine
The title of my autobiography refers to my mind. I was eighteen years old, starting my first year of college, when I learned how to read. During my first 18 years, I truly thought that I was mentally slow. Because I spoke Finnish at home, in church, and in our neighborhood until I started public schools, I failed to learn how to read English. My second grade teacher said, I have tried my best, but I can t teach you to read, but I am passing you to the next grade because you are well behaved. I spent the next twelve years in public school, well behaved but unable to read. I graduated from high school with a C- average, but was given an all-expense paid basketball scholarship to Mt. Union College. My dormitory roommate was a senior, ministerial student, named Jimmy Sells, who taught me how to read. Now that I learned to read, school was easy because now, I could understand all of the test questions. At the end of the first year, the college awarded me an academic scholarship for being the varsity athlete with the highest grades I had a B+ average. Suddenly, I was born again, but this time I was intelligent, but I didn t know how smart I was. I now discovered I had a wonderful brain, with which I could think and reason how I should behave and act. It was truly a gift from God. No longer did I have to use my brain to follow the instructions of others, who I felt were all smarter than I because they could read. Unintentionally, my second grade teacher taught me that I was stupid, and I had agreed with her for eighteen years. After the first year in college, my whole life has been one challenge after another, trying to measure how high I could climb up the social ladder. It has been gratifying, and I feel the story of my life will give many clues and hints to people who are waiting for someone to give them a break or to think and reason their own exciting future. It is amazing how much that is obvious to adults is not yet discovered by youth. Few students are really encouraged to believe that they have truly capable minds which they can enjoy using constructively, so few ever approach the capacity limits of their minds. If you read Chapters 1 and Chapter 26 first, they provide perspectives frequently ignored in considering the challenge of improving life for our youth.
The Year I Didn't Go to School
These are the best things that happened to me the year I didn't go to school: Traveled around Italy with my family's theatre troupe. Performed in a theatre outside. (I was a monkey, a panda, and a lion!) Ate spaghetti with fried egg on top. Slept in a truck. Wove cowboy boots. Ciao! (I spoke Italian.) Kept a journal to remember everything that happened.
Stupid Parents
Let's face it--parents don't get it. Or at least that's what their teenaged children think. Most teens think their parents don't know anything about life--especially not teen life. That's where best-selling author and teen expert Hayley DiMarco comes in. Stupid Parents helps teens understand how to communicate with their parents to improve their relationships. It answers common questions teens have, like -how do I get my parents to be less embarrassing? -how do I get them to give me more freedom? -how do I tell my parents about things that are important to me? -what do I do if my parents are mean to me? -what are my parents thinking? -and many more Teens, parents, and youth leaders will find Stupid Parents entertaining, educational, and, like all Hungry Planet books, utterly relevant.
If I Didn't Have Elbows
If I Didn't Have Elbows : The Alternative Body Book by Sandi Toksvig Published in 1998 by Larousse Kingfisher Chambers
Kiffe Kiffe Tomorrow
He thought I'd forged my mom's name on the slip. How stupid is that? On this thing Mom just made a kind of squiggly shape on the page. That jerk didn't even think about what he was saying, didn't even ask himself why her signature might be weird. He's one of those people who think illiteracy is like AIDS. It only exists in Africa.--from Kiffe Kiffe Tomorrow "A tale for anyone who has ever lived outside looking in, especially from that alien country called adolescence. A funny, heartfelt story from a wise guy who happens to be a girl. If you've ever fallen in love, if you've ever had your heart broken, this story is your story." -- Sandra Cisneros, author of THE HOUSE ON MANGO STREET The Paradise projects are only a few metro stops from Paris, but here it's a whole different kind of France. Doria's father, the Beard, has headed back to their hometown in Morocco, leaving her and her mom to cope with their mektoub—their destiny—alone. They have a little help-- from a social worker sent by the city, a psychiatrist sent by the school, and a thug friend who recites Rimbaud.It seems like fate’s dealt them an impossible hand, but Doria might still make a new life. She'll prove the projects aren't only about rap, soccer, and religious tension. She’ll take the Arabic word kif-kif (same old, same old) and mix it up with the French verb kiffer (to really like something). Now she has a whole new motto: KIFFE KIFFE TOMORROW."Moving and irreverent, sad and funny, full of rage and intelligence. [Guène's] characters are unforgettable, her voice fresh, and her book a delight." -- Laila Lalami, author of Hope and Other Dangerous PursuitsFaïza Guène, the child of Algerian immigrants, grew up in the public housing projects of Pantin, outside Paris. This is her first book.
I Didn't Know It Was You!
WIFE OF TWO, MOTHER OF THREE, TEACHER OF THOUSANDS, ADDICTED TO IGNORANCE IN MY YOUTH. THESE THOUGHTS, WORDS AND ACTIONS ARE HARD TO ADMIT BUT NO LONGER CONTROL ME. I AM FREE AS I RELEASE EACH WORD INTO THE UNIVERSE. I AM HEALED AS I REPLACE MY THOUGHTS, WORDS AND DEEDS WITH PURPOSEFUL AFFIRMATIONS THAT ILLUMINATE MY LIFE, WORLD AND AFFAIRS. EACH PHASE OF MY HEALING HAS BEEN A JOURNEY WITH NO REGRETS. I'M GRATEFUL TO HAVE COME THIS FAR AND PRAY THAT THIS ENTIRE PROCESS WILL ENABLE SOMEONE ELSE TO BE HEALED. THIS SHORT BOOK AND SCRIPTURES HAVE BEEN THE CHANNEL FOR MY HEALING AND TO FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHO I AM AND WHY I'M HERE. I THANK GOD FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY. My name is Leslie Theresa (named after both of my grandmothers), born September 1, 1957 in Tallahassee, Florida. An early graduate of Godby High School December of 1974, briefly attended Hampton Institute in Virginia, graduated with a B.S. in Physical Education from Florida A & M University in 1979. Received a Masters of Science from Nova University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in 1991 and have taken numerous courses in Educational Counseling. I currently reside in the magical city of Miami Gardens, Florida where I teach Physical Education. I am the youngest of four siblings, a mother of three wonderful children, and a fantastic son in law, and soon to be a grandmamma. I am a child of the Living God and attend Universal Truth Center for Better Living.
Unusually Stupid Politicians
Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include• Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room”• Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror.• Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur• The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs)This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.
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